drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
