I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize