clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
