Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
