she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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