OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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