living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
