The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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