singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss