i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?