There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??