Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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