At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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