I think i sorta joined a cult last night
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
