things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I AM VODKA MAN
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
