You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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