I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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