sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
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He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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