my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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