Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
