I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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