I just saw a hot homeless man
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
