i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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