And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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