thus making me awesome and them whores
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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