On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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