so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
