Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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