my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you would pick up someone in the library
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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