there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The Olympian is in my bed
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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