I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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