im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
