We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he fucked my hip out of place.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
