I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
