He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
