oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
