She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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