oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
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The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
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We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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