thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i think my mom watched the whole time
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
