my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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