Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
