i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
