dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
