when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
