she woke up with a sticky ear
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
