So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
