Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
