Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You need Xanax blowdarts
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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