So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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