Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
