im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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