you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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