just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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