community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
