Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
