So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
