If i come over, it means nothing
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have fence marks all over my body
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
