And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
