your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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