Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
